On Weight Struggle

I have been struggling about my weight ever since I was born.
Among my siblings, I am considered the "fattest" and being the "shortest" also does not help.
So when I started to have consciousness as regards my weight and built, I have also started to have this yo-yo like phases wherein I would lose some then binge then gain more and again be depressed.
I don't like this feeling. I don't like envying other girls for their svelte figures, I don't like dreaming of a dress to fit me, I don't like wishing that I were this so and so girl for she is having the body I wish I had. I wish my head would be in the place of hers.
My family is not also supportive about it. No matter how I have tried to lose some weight, they would be the first ones to be skeptical about it. Worst, even joke about it and laugh at me. Technically, I am on my own. Good thing, I still have some good friends around supporting me and assuring me that I can make it. Yet sadly, few of them remain with me now for the others went their own ways already.
It's honestly not easy living in a world that glorifies women considered beautiful in its own standards. It's a struggle to maintain confidence and sound emotion when the society that you're living in worships those women with slender figure, creamy-white skin, tall built and a patrician nose. What about girls like me who possess exactly the opposites?
I am sad. It's true that one should still cultivate the beauty of mind, heart and soul but the above-mentioned standards are inevitably and almost permanent part of this generation I belong to. It's just so sad for a girl like me. Yet, I don't want to wallow in needless self-pity.
I don't know.I think I need to convince myself more that there's more to life than being so physically beautiful. That there are other aspects of myself that I really still need to look into and discover. But to tell you the truth, it's also an almost day-to-day struggle.
I know that having a goddess-like physical attributes does not assure one of a happy life and successful marriage. Yet there are times when I would think that they are also somehow needed for a woman to be noticed.
I will still try to lose weight. I was disappointed with myself because for two days, I ate a lot again and did not exercise. I felt like a failure but there was this voice inside me telling me to dust myself off, to not wallow in self-pity and just go on with what I have started. Spiritually speaking, I know I am on the "right track" because the "enemy" has been trying to snatch me away again from the right road.
I will continue my exercise and proper diet. I may not have those legendary patrician looks but I could still gain more confidence by doing the right things.