Thinking...Thinking

I have been thinking lately.

I have been thinking about my family, the things that happened and been happening to us. My sister met an accident so she and my mom had to go and live for a while in my cousin's house. We are not complete here in our house so I am the one who is practically in charge of everything.

I am thinking. About next year. About my plans. What if something like this happened again? I pray to God that there would be none for I would be so worried.

I love my family. I love my dad, my mom, my brothers and my sister. But I love myself too. Now, I am vacillating if I'd still go on with my plans and fulfill my dreams or just stay here and be here when they need me. I don't know. I think as early as now, I need to teach my younger brother to take care of himself. To always remind my sister to be careful and to instruct my other brother to be more diligent with household work. And my mom? She needs someone to be her constant "distressor" someone whom she could vent out all her feelings and frustrations. And I am always more than willing to listen if I am not the one causing her "stress." (^^,)

How do I choose? Will I choose my dreams or my family? It is hard. I will ask for guidance and wisdom on this. I know, there are still days to come but who would have thought that unfortunate incident like what happened to us would transpire in the first place?

This issue unsettles me, actually. This thought causes me some restlessness.

Where do I go?