Missed Writing

I miss this. This writing thing. Yes, okay fine. This is not literally writing but typing my ideas and thoughts away. But the heck with terminology! It's still the same activity with the same purpose only the means to do so is different. Yes, I was in a not-so-good state for the past two weeks and all because of my own doings. I had my bouts of insecurity and I even went as far as thinking that I was the ugliest girl in the world. Ridiculous, isn't it? I am not going to tell about my lovelife anymore for it still the same though I have a new crush. Yes, from our church and he is really my crush. Nothing so serious. I just hope I could get to know his name and meet him one of these days. The problem with me you know,is that I could easily attach myself emotionally to a crush without really getting to know the person properly to say that I really like him. That was why I kept on falling and falling at the wrong but the same places. I will make sure this time, I will make the better choices and will act more rationally. My last emotional fiasco was really a sham but it taught me a great deal of lessons. Probably, as the days will go by, I will be able to fully come to terms with my feelings and how I perceived that person to be. I only had wrong notions of him, created crazy ideas about him and I ended up wounded and offended. Because of what happened, I was compelled to avoid some people even went as far as letting them go fully from my life. Anyway, I also felt that they did not want me in theirs anyway. So that was it. No, I have accepted that already. That's life and that's people. That's human nature at its finest. Maybe we were just so different as in painfully at that that they could not really understand me and them, I could not as well. But I am not closing any doors. Maybe the time was just not that...right. I am more at peace now. Thank God. I thank Him for everything, for not letting me go and for just picking me up as I ran head first to garbage. I thank Him for cleansing me again and now, I am sober again. Thank You so much, Father. Anyway, I am running of ideas already. Ironically I feel hunger pangs inside my tummy. I already ate my snacks this afternoon. This is just probably thirst hiding under the guise of hunger pangs. I will read again later. Then if ideas will come swirling in my head again, I will go back straight to you.