Reflective Mode

I am in my reflective mode right now. Until now, I am still thinking about what happened to Given Grace and why it happened in the first place. Deep inside me, I am still struggling, questioning and confused about the turn of events about her. I am thinking about the could-have-beens if she had not walked that path, if she had only waited for the daybreak, if she had done this or that. I am really sorry for her and feel bad for her. She must have been such a lovely young lady, in and out. A sister anyone would love. Anyway, she's in a brighter and lovelier world now so I must stop bothering myself about the evil that happened to her and just focus on my relationship with God. It is always He who knows better than I.

I had a talk with a co-teacher while I was on my way home. I asked her if she was still attending New Life, a christian church. She told me no, not anymore. She is already a Jehovah's Witness and she seemed to be so happy about it. I just felt sad for there she was, already on the right path but because of the christian world's negligence, there she went to another path leading her astray. The religion undermines what Jesus did for us to save us from our sins and He is only considered just the Son of God, a different persona who is just the Son of God. They do not believe the Trinity and I think the Holy Spirit is just an entity for them. Far from what I have learned from my religion. I am not against the believers of this faith only I know the truth about Jesus and the enemy's scheme to underestimate Him and to set our eyes on other things except Him. I am just sad for as a christian, I have the responsibility to witness for Christ and things like this happen with me around. May God give me the strength and the grace to witness for my colleagues and to live a life that is really obedient and servant for Christ.

I am also thinking about a former friend. Maybe, I should really just get used to our situation and besides she is not a big lost in my life. I must admit that she slights my ego but then this is pride so I will just bring to God how I feel towards her so that I can just let go of her completely. Some people indeed are not meant to stay in your life. And you have no choice but to just let them go. Anyway, may God bless her and may she also know Jesus in her life. May God also change how I feel for her and may I just focus on those who could really love me and accept me for who I am warts and all.

I am also thinking about the time I am giving my pupil in the afternoon. This may seem like a small thing but maybe for that child, it makes him feel he is loved and not abandoned. That adults are still trustworthy. I just want to make this world a better and safe place for little children. I am a person who lost her childhood at a very early age for I was already given responsibilities to take care of my younger siblings and to take care of my family also in my own way. Looking at my profile picture now, the child looks like me and I fight back the tears from falling down for I remember the child that I was and if only I could go back in time, I would look for the child that was me and would show her how much she is loved and taken care of by her Heavenly Father. That adults are trustworthy and majority of men are good. The pictures bring bittersweet emotions inside me. I was a happy child albeit the bad things I experienced.

Anyway, my train of thoughts seem to stop now. I will just read some stuff then later will take my rest. Another day was done and I am thankful to God for I am home now, feeling safe and sound. But a bit scary for I feel like I am getting fat again with the rate of my eating now. Hah! Food.