Hah! Again?!

I am just disappointed with myself for my "loud" reaction as regards the problem that I had with the accounting office in our school this morning. I was just freaking out because they made a mistake that almost cost me money and my reputation.

Yet, I have realized that the reason why I acted that way was because of my unfaithfulness again. I did not trust God enough that He would do something for me, He would show me a way under those circumstances.

It was a test. A test of faith but I feel like a failure. Yet, I have learned valuable lessons. Not take little things for granted, make a list of everything specially when it comes to money. And don't act like a war-freak specially under pressure. I was just so worried for if ever that money would be lost, I would be forced to pay quite a big amount to think that I don't have money anymore. Instead of just praying and asking for God's help, I freaked out like crazy, I almost shouted in the faculty room and it was so undignified.

I know that situation was really worrisome but I could have acted more maturely and with more finesse. And I should have reacted more with faith and trust in God who will never forsake me.

I just feel sorry. I have learned my lesson. I will just do the complete opposite of my reaction today and most importantly pray when I am again under that kind of situation.

But the experience taught me a lot. I need to organize and fix things in my life or else many things will just fall apart.

I will keep records, fix my things, unclutter and organize things. I will start with the small ones until they get big. I will ask God for help.

I am sorry Lord, if I acted harshly and impulsively today and did not trust in You enough. I am sorry for the bad words, for the almost violent reaction that I made tarnishing my christian testimony. Help me Lord to deal with my temper. Crazy and bothersome situations are not valid reasons for me to lose my cool and act negatively and shamelessly at that. Thank You for the lessons learned today. And forgive me Father for the cussings, the bad-mouthing, the rude actions. I am sorry Lord. Amen.