On Facebook and Moving On

Hah! Facebook.

Maybe I should have just listened to that voice inside me before when it was first introduced to me that I should not use it. That it would be just a nuisance if I did.

And now, looking back, I have realized how right that voice inside me was. For ever since I used that website, my life has changed since and was never the same again.

In Facebook, one can post everything so good and perfect in his or her life. It is as if the person is really living one, perfect, lovely life to the envy of the whole world. There, one can say things that could make others think he or she is a genius and that he or she is the one to be admired by everyone. I have been guilty of that crime also and it indeed gives me the creeps how I let the system of creating one's own fans' club there ate my sensibilities.

In Facebook, I met people who given a life sans one, I would not have met at all. People I should not have let inside my heart and my life. But then again, there was Facebook, we became "friends" and then after some complicated issues between us, we "unfriended" each other. And I ended up nursing and healing a broken heart.

In Facebook, I would just carelessly feed my insecurities. I would initially just nonchalantly browse through some friends's pages and then when I would see that they were actually living a seemingly "charmed" life so unlike mine, I would feel this sadness, emptiness and mild depression that would just turn out unfounded and highly unreasonable for me to feel in the first place.

Facebook is good. If one uses it in the right way. I also had my share of wonderful times in FB. People who gave me good comments, who complimented my notes and friends from long ago and far places that I was able to get in touch with again after many years.It has its benefits after all.

Maybe, I have been just into too much of something. In this case, my Facebook usage. Honestly, maybe the reason why I cannot fully moved on with what happened to me is because I still have this very little flicker of hope that that person is still checking on me. That the person who introduced us might give me some updates regarding him though I told her that we should stop talking about what happened already. Maybe, I have been too much into it that I already depended my social life in it, that I subtly substituted it with the real world. That I mistakenly believed that without it, then my life would be incomplete.

Foolishness, right? Yet, I must admit I subconsciously thought this way. Maybe, I should practice what the Bible says. To aim for the transforming and renewing of my mind. Facebook is good, but there's more to life than my overuse of it. Henry David Thoreau was indeed right when he said "as if we could kill time without injuring eternity."

I will try not to open my Facebook for how many days. I will open my Internet but for studying, writing and reading purposes only. I'll see if I would still feel this way. Feeling bad for nothing at all. It was all in my mind. A product of my own imagination given life by my excessive usage of Facebook.

I will try. Then maybe, this trying will become a routine, then a habit and then a practice. Until such a time that Facebook will no longer mean that much to me.

I will just focus on what is more important. On what is more beneficial. An important quiz will be given to us by our professor in Philosophy on Saturday so there's no use wasting time. It is always of the essence.

Goodbye for the mean time, Facebook world!