Losing that Grip on Faith

Right now, my spiritual life is so dry. Utterly dry.

I feel like I am losing grip with my faith. My emotions are out of control. I keep on thinking about that guy again and yes, I even sent him a message. I want him back in my life but I can't. And I should not.

When my two special guy friends gave me attention today, I felt I something was filled in me. I only want to be given attention to, to be loved and to be taken care of by someone.

Lord, I am only human. I have my needs too. I feel so crazy. I want to cry, shout and get out of my situation now. I feel desperate already. I have my needs too. I am tired. Tired of waiting. Tired of hoping. I am just tired. Really jaded.

I am tired. I am fed up with all the pressures people around me give me. I am tired of hearing love stories. I am tired of hoping that I would have my own family someday.I am tired. I am tired. So tired.

Lord, I feel bad now. I don't know. Help me see what I should see in this season. Help me feel loved and treated special by You. But I also need my ears, my physical ears to hear that someone loves me.

Lord, I want to cry. I want to shout. I have been like this for how many years already. I am sad. Really, I am.

Help, Lord. Help me.